


Imagine

by Merilsell



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen, POV Second Person, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 19:19:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17966483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merilsell/pseuds/Merilsell
Summary: Alistair hasn't had the easiest life so far, imagine yourself in his shoes.





	Imagine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bohemiantea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bohemiantea/gifts).



> Fueled by the spite I felt about Gaider's Alistair is a manchild comment and its style inspired by a tumblr post by bohemiantea.

Imagine being ten and to have to sleep with the hounds because your foster father’s wife does not want you in the house. Their bodies and fur is the only warmth and affection you know.

Imagine being ten and pushed aside and discarded like an old toy, because your foster father’s wife does not want you around any longer.

Imagine being so angry about this injustice that you throw the only belonging you have from your mother against the wall.

Imagine being fifteen and caught in a place and life you do not want and have not chosen for yourself. And no one cares,  _no one cares._

Imagine feeling so lonely that you scream just to see someone’s face as they come running to check on you.

Imagine being nineteen and a person comes into the place you hate and are stuck in and not only listens to you, he saves you from the life you never wanted. You are free, free,  _free_. At last.

Imagine the next six month being the best time of your life because you have finally found a place to belong, a home. You are accepted, appreciated by them.   
  
Imagine being twenty and seeing that place being snatched away again by a general quitting the field of war and all of your friends and the person you have come to call your mentor are dead because of it. You nearly die too and more than a part of you wishes you had.

Imagine being twenty and to wake up to a world where you have lost everything you cared for and had too briefly. What are six month? Not enough time, never enough. Imagine now you need to fight a war that should not have been yours to fight, with only one other survivor left. A war that will bring your country to the brink of destruction and beyond, should you fail to stop its source. It is so wrong, wrong,  _wrong_.

Imagine having to bottle up all that grief about the people you lost, because of the war. You should not complain. You should function. This is too important. You cannot fail. You  _cannot_ fail.

Imagine you hide it all behind humor, self-depreciation and being loud, like you did before in that place. People tend to forget you exist otherwise.  

Imagine instead growing bitter and resentful toward everyone who had been ignoring and discarded you since you were a child, you still care, retained your kindness somehow. A small miracle, in a way. You want to help, you want to do good. Another reason why you cannot fail.

Imagine being genuinely shocked to be listened to, when the other survivor asked about your feelings. For once, you are not belittled for it and treated like an inconvenience. Your grief and how you feel is valid. She listens, she cares.

Imagine weeks and months passing, full of travel and battle but somehow you are still alive. You persevere, because you cannot fail, cannot disappoint your dead mentor and all the people counting on you. She is at your side ever since waking up to this new cruel world, caught up in this enormous task like you are. The grief is still there, but muted somehow. You are not as alone as thought.

Imagine falling for the other survivor within all the chaos and death. It is terrifying and new, this feeling. You never expected it to happen to you and yet here she is, night after night after night talking to you, with each other. She is beautiful and bright and you are not alone with this burden.

Imagine stumbling your way through words to explain her how you feel. Not because you are bashful or ashamed of your feelings, but you have too much to say it becomes a jumble; a tangle of honest emotions laid bare. No one ever wanted your affection, cared enough to recognize how much of it you have to give to someone willing. To her, if she wants it… and she  _does_.

Imagine being touched, feeling loved and safe, for the first time in your life. You lack the words to describe it, but there are none needed anyway. Everything seems easier and brighter, with her at your side, close to you. Life is, finally, good, in spite of it all. You don’t trust this happiness, not fully anyhow. It is too good to be true and too much could still go wrong in this war, force you apart from her. But you will fight tooth and nails, the whole world if needed to stay at her side. Because this is your new home and chosen path.  


End file.
